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Recently someone thought that the one true way to be mean to me is to attack my looks. The person said, “You think you are all that because you have a little ass, take off the makeup and hair and then we can talk”. I have decided to write about this not because it affected my self-esteem but because it brought me back to the days of kindergarten and high school when name calling was at its highest. I have been called many things in the past, big forehead, nanny buck-buck, forid, dry head, ugly so its fair to say I am very used to it. I have refused to allow bullying to get the best of me, I am still out here making strides and doing my thing and I refuse to allow negativity to interfere with the journey I am on.

There is no doubt that “Name-calling” is a self-esteem killer; however, this weapon only works if you do not know who you are and what you have to contribute to life. There is a Gospel song by Sinach that I really love, lyrics from the chorus, I know who God says I am, what He says I am, Where He says I’m at, I know who I am. The bible says that we are created in God’s image, and I believe that God is perfect and whatever he creates is also perfect. We live in a world that would be chaotic if everyone looked, act and does the same. We live in a world that diversification is important. So why should I feel insecure by someone’s opinion of me because I don’t look the way they want me to look, or because I don’t look like the lady next door? Why should I allow someone to break me down because they choose to be mean and disrespectful of God’s work?

When I was in high school, there was a guy that always picked on me. Everywhere he saw me the first thing to come from his mouth is “Big Forehead Gal”. When I was 17 years old, I felt like I had enough. On this bright and sunny day, I decided no more will I allow him to make me hide away in my shell from embarrassment. No more will I be ashamed of the way that God made me because others disapproved. So I stood tall, accepted that I was made in God’s image and I looked at him and said, “ yep, its big but guess what, it ain’t going anywhere, so get used to it.”. He was shocked, he then realized I was owning it and that he no longer had that power over me, he no longer could make me feel inferior and so he let it go. He dropped that name.

I tell you this story because there are many young girls who believe that having a body part that’s different from the norms of society makes them ugly. I went through high school thinking that something was wrong with me. It was never until I left and started accepting me for who I am, that I became self-confident. No one takes more selfies than I do. Yes, this same ugly girl just will not stop taking selfies! That’s because I am proud of who I am.  Schoolmates find it hard to believe this is the same Yanique from high school and that’s right. I have evolved. I have matured, and the change has been great. I even went into modeling, a field that women who lack self-esteem would be afraid to venture in. It takes courage and confidence to walk in front of a crowd.

One of my favorite songs is by a famous singer Sia, it goes like this:

“You shout it out
But I can’t hear a word you say
I’m talking loud not saying much
I’m criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shot me down, but I get up

I’m bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
Shot me down but I won’t fall
I am titanium
Shot me down but I won’t fall
I am titanium”

I love this song because it reflects my life. I have been faced with many obstacles and still, this big forehead girl has done it all. From modeling to college, completed a BSc and MBA, traveled and mixed with so many different cultures and stood out amongst them because I look different. I am happy with being unique and different from everyone else. I am confident in my skin. My mom and dad didn’t go to the potter’s shop and presented an image that they wanted me to be carved out to be. This was all God’s doing and he never makes mistake. I am beautiful, I am confident, and I am secure in myself. If so many people think I am ugly can you imagine what I would be like if I looked the way they wanted me to look if I am already being told: “I act like I am all that”.

Beautiful with or without makeup!

Young boys and young girls, own it. Own the names that people call you. The enemy will be sad when they realize they can’t break you. Love yourself. Makeup or no makeup. Extension or no extension. Acne or no acne. Freckles or no freckles, that’s what makes you unique. In today’s society, you are able to change these things but bear in mind that the same people will criticize you for changing it. You cannot please people. Focus on pleasing God and yourself and everything else will fall into place.

 

 

 

3 Comments

  1. Najwah

    Reply

    Wow!!! That’s his insecurities within to put others down. Yanique, you are all that and more!! And am so proud of you that you never let the labels of society post any on you and if they did you ripped it right off. Love you❤️

  2. Renee

    Reply

    Such a wonderful and well needed message! You never fail to amaze me with how fearless you are. Keep inspiring.

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